


Unraveled. Uneven. Unexpected.

by Starysky205



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Auras, Greek gods, Harry Potter AU, Ilvermory, M/M, Mafia AU, Magic, Pirate AU, Temporary Character Death, cycles, let's fucking do this!, now with an actual chapter 5, one of my favorite made up worlds, steam punk (kinda), the PJO au somebody probably already made, updates on frydays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-09 13:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13482891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starysky205/pseuds/Starysky205
Summary: Lines strewed, tangled, impossible to distinguish, all leading to a sole destination. Life, after death, after life.(Aka: The life-lines au nobody asked for)





	1. A world of auras

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Life-lines](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/353613) by Starysky205. 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I spent a really long time trying to think who would play which role. I realized Evan has a meaning in 7 different languages, and that’s really cool, so he gets to switch names (Handpicked because I’m that extra).   
> Animas are human looking with animalistic features… I made Noax while I was still an innocent soul, RIP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are thoughts

Everyone is reborn.

One out of two people in the world is able remember each and every life, but they lose their original names, bound to trade new ones like coins until they get theirs back.

One has to earn their memories, bound to reincarnation like a curse, never knowing of their fate unless by someone else’s hand.

The same name to save them both from the never-ending loop of death and rebirth.

The first life ends peacefully, or as peacefully as it can end, considering who he is. He doesn’t know how the world works yet, but he soon will.

 

He’s 18 when he remembers for the first time.

He’s the sole heir to the throne of Baeryth, a position he’s been training his whole life to fit, he’s a pure blue aura, he has an Anima keeping tabs on him. There’s such a contrast between the person he is and the person he was that he almost believes the memories to be an odd hyper-realistic nightmare; but he knows better.

18 years of living in the world of Noax have taught him to always look at things twice, to get a second opinion; because in a world of magic and auras, anything was possible. Daniel, of course, turned to his protector, a cheetah Anima called Nathaniel.

Nathaniel, like most animas, was well versed in the area of souls, as Daniel’s protector, he was particularly tuned to his own soul though. But for this particular instance it would be just perfect.

Daniel approached him during the evening, after finishing his duties for the day.

“I need to ask you something”

“Does it have anything to do with why you’ve been fainting lately?”

Nathaniel had been worried about him since the visions started, not because he knew, but because of the effect they had on Daniel so far.

“Yes”

Nathaniel nods, but his tail and ears tell Daniel he’s holding something back.

“I think I might be seeing into the past, and I don’t know what it means”

Nathaniel’s entire demeanor shifts at those words, something settling in his expression.

“I think you should sit down”

And so Daniel learns, learns about tied souls and dreadful cycles, about time distortions and universe alterations. He’s of those who remember, now he has to find his counterpart.

 

He’s 21 when he meets the others again. It’s his coronation, being crowned prince is a whole thing, so the kingdom throws a party, goes all out since the people of Baeryth seem to adore their regents.

Royal events mean royal guests. As a mark of the peaceful times they were entering, Baeryth had invited royalty from all over Noax, kings, and queens, and princes, and princesses, and other nobles, they were all invited for the crowning ceremony and the party afterwards.

The crowning ceremony went on without a hitch, but then there was the party. Now, Daniel was much more used to parties than his past self, but that didn’t mean he fancied introductions any more than he had in his previous life, just that he didn’t stutter through them as much.

So far Daniel had met the King of the Maylands and his court, and a few of his own courtesans, and then he saw them. His eyes were first drawn to her, as if they remembered the countless times they had performed that movement before, back in a time where Daniel was nothing but a shadow.

Zoe, and the fact that he remembers her name means that she forgot all about their previous life, wears a vibrant pink dress with golden details, the boy besides her wears a blue suit also with golden details, the colors of Reikoru. Daniel stops dead on his tracks, whirls back, and looks in Zoe’s direction again, only this time he focuses on who’s walking with her; Connor Murphy stands beside his sister, completely alive.

Daniel remembers with vivid detail everything that happened the last time he met Connor Murphy. And even though this Connor has no idea who Daniel is, or what he did in their shared past life, he still dreads the moment when they reach him and begin the introduction.

Nathaniel must notice because he stands closer to Daniel, ready to intervene if necessary; Daniel was really glad for this particular difference, he wasn’t alone.

Elements, why was it that the whole world seemed to have focused on Connor. 

_Because he died_

"I'm duchess Zoe of Ghalia"

She courtesies like an expert; Daniel responded instinctively. 

_You could have stopped him_

"I'm duke Connor of Ghalia"

He took his hand as he bowed, it was expected but it still sent electricity through Daniel's spine. 

_You let Connor Murphy die_  

Music fills the room like water pouring into a glass, trickling smoothly as it reverberates across the ball room walls. 

Daniel makes a decision, as figures start moving towards the dance floor. He won't fail Connor this time. 

"Would you care for a dance?"

He offers him his hand, palm up, to make it obvious that he's asking Connor, but also knowing exactly what it means. Connor looks at him like he knows something he ignores, but he takes his hand all the same. 

"I'd be honored"

 

The second life ends sooner that the first, more violently, more covered in blood, arms holding him tightly.

“Daniel, Dan please!”

He coughs up blood, the arms around him tighten their grip as a terrified gasp leaves the other.

“I-I’m s-sorry”

“Don’t say that like you’re giving up! Don’t you-“

He somehow manages to lift his hand up, to touch Connor’s cheek, brushing away one of the tears that are escaping him.

“You’re so… so b-beautiful”

He doesn’t live to see the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daniel: Means "God is my judge" in Hebrew (Picked it bc I remembered the biblical tale, yeah those 12 years of catholic studies actually left their mark)


	2. Ilvermory days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never actually mention it, but due to logic thinking on my part, the DEH teens go to Ilvermory instead of Hogwarts.  
> What’s your Ilvermory house? Mine’s Horned Serpent; I like sticking to it because I’m furious at the sorting hat for placing me in Gryffindor, but that’s neither here nor there.

He’s 16 when he remembers in the next life, when he comes to he’s in the school’s infirmary, and Trevor Fletcher is sitting next to his bed. The nurse, Madame Musser, walks over with an edible healing potion; it’s a cupcake because Barlock fainted and the chances of it having to do with low/high pressure are still there; or so Trevor explains to him while he’s consuming it, and Barlock is inclined to believe him.

Trevor is Barlock’s best friend in the whole school, they met in the teleferic to school, and Trevor had immediately decided they were friends now; he remained in that decision even after they were selected for different houses. Barlock was really glad.

Trevor had also been the reason why Barlock had met Abel in this timeline, whom he now recognized as the boy he had been family friends with in his first life. The fact that Barlock didn’t know what the boy was named meant he probably remembered too.

“Barlock!”

“Huh?”

“Where did you go?”

Barlock looks elsewhere, Trevor doesn’t press, it’s what he likes most about his best friend.

“Madame Musser says you should be able to go back to normal schedule the day after tomorrow”

“I can’t miss that much class!”

“It’s ok Lock, Brenna said she would take notes on all your shared classes, so you only have to worry about the electives, but you know me, I’ll get them for you”

Barlock nods because he does actually trust Trevor with this. Things are different in this timeline, they were different when he was a prince too, he wonders if it’ll always be like this.

The Connor of this timeline is also different, from the only two other experiences he had with the boy, they’re in the same house, and in two of the same electives; he gets along with Brenna, whom Barlock knows from his first life, and she must know him too, or she will when she remembers.

The thing is that Barlock had always been interested in Connor, and now that he knows who he is, it’s different, because he knows how close they had been in their shared second life, how close they can be, so he tries.

Trevor calls it a crush, but is entirely supportive of Barlock chasing this connection; tries to help in any way he can. Somehow it works, and Barlock gets closer to Connor, that comes with its own rollercoaster of emotions, but Barlock doesn’t regret it.

 

His third life ends saving another, because of course things go south, and of course Barlock gets tangled in the mess. It’s rushed, and unplanned, but if he could save Trevor Fletcher again, he would in a heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barlock: Means strong warrior filled with love and hope in America (Evan means young warrior in America)
> 
> Abel: Means "son of breath" in Hebrew
> 
> Brenna: Means little raven in Irish


	3. Sacrifice is but a concept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I chose to do something other than a soulmate au for this one, because I honestly got tired of soulmate aus (besides this entire thing is one huge soulmate au)  
> I kept thinking ‘this is so cool’ while writing it; if you guess which game inspired this you get one of these: (°o°) (°-°) (°u°) (°n°) (°w°) (°m°)

The fourth life is filled with music, music he can weave through his body until it reaches his throat and leaves like a siren’s call, coaxing anyone to stop and listen. Ansgar doesn’t sing for the rich and cultured, no, he sings for the rebellious, the hidden, the outcasts, he stings coded messages to the beat of the drums, follows melodies to honor the brave, and lifts morale with his poetic spell.

The place he’s in sort of reminds him of Noax, in the sense that it’s a sort of mixture of two times that should not be fused together, advanced beyond what Ansgar can say of his original timeline in some things, but stuck back in time in others. Ansgar has the slight advantage of having gotten his memories back when he was younger, 13 years old to be exact, and not now that he’s 25; he can’t have people thinking he’s sick.

Ansgar is lucky enough to seamlessly blend into what his society considers acceptable, it means that he has a mask to wear, not many are as lucky. Ansgar is a messenger who works in music related information, to the naked eye he’s just a singer down on his luck who’s making do with the public he can attract.

He isn’t alone, Connor is with him, this time they’re lifelong friends, having grown side by side; he’s the actual brain of the operation, coming up with ways to insert code words into the songs without raising suspicion, making sure their higher ups  know the key to reading between the lines; he’s incredibly brilliant, really. It’s a bit odd knowing what he does about Connor, and being aware the other thinks of him like a second sibling, but Ansgar can deal with that, so long as Connor makes it to old age; that’s a bit of a long shot, considering their circumstances.

Trevor and Dagan, this life’s Abel, join the resistance with someone named Kepa, it takes Ansgar to be in her presence to realize she’s this life’s Brenna; she gets along spectacularly with Connor, the other two seem to prefer Ansgar, who is really glad Trevor didn’t end at the other side of the fight. There’s a bit of an emotional ordeal that transpires between all five of them, once Zoe manages to get in the resistance; that ends in raised voices and tears and they go to bed with bitter tastes on their throats, or at least Ansgar does.

They never get to make up.

 

The fourth life ends with a requiem, a distraction so that everyone else will see the next day; it ends in a cloud of smoke as the empty building Ansgar chose as a decoy burns to the ground. It’s a much more dramatic suicide than he had planned when he fantasized on the idea.

He left a mark, just to give the others the closure of a definite end, something the fire wouldn’t be able to destroy. Something physical, because he’s never liked the idea of completely disappearing without a trace; but only subtly recognizable, a final coded message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ansgar: Means warrior in Irish (Evan means young warrior in Irish)  
> Dagan: Means "Earth; grain. Little fish" in Hebrew  
> Kepa: Means stone in Irish


	4. Fighting against the system

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapters because the last one will probably be extremely long if I know myself.  
> Enjoy this two for one; it gets a little dark, just a heads up (There’s a prolonged death).

Ceri Hansen was many things, an expert crafter, a quiet and polite client, a decent-read traveler; the last thing you would expect from someone like him would be a pirate, but that’s what he was.

Ceri had been haunted by memories of past lives since he was 11, and back then he was already with his two feet on a ship, with enough knowledge in sword fights to make some damage if they were attacked.  It was a bit odd knowing who he had been before this, though he guessed his most recent past life would’ve approved of his path in life, not that Ceri had picked piracy.

See, Ceri, despite having a surname, wasn’t actually human; there’s a long story behind that, involving sirens and witches and desperate bargains, a story tinted in red and grey. Ceri has a dangerous voice, but his abilities relayed heavily on how close to water he was, and how he carried his voice; other than that he held little to no common features with his counterparts.

He was the only fixated part of the crew, him and the captain that had given him his surname; lately they were having trouble forming a reliable crew. Ceri was 20 by human standards when he saw Connor this time, together with Zoe, Trevor and two others that had traded names much like Ceri had, this time the dark skinned girl with the wise eyes was named Vevila, and the speckled boy with the all too familiar shit eating grin was named Admah.

His fifth life ends with a tightly tied rope, a thundering silence, and the movement of a leaver; the fate of all pirates, it takes him days to actually die.

 

Then he’s 29, his name is Bryce and he’s been fighting side by side with Connor Murphy since he was old enough to hold a gun; they’re both part of a group of out-laws, people who deal in death like it’s a type of currency. The memories failed to change anything yet again, just made him more aware that this was plenty similar to the arrangement him and Connor had during their life as part of a revolution, only there was a huge difference, the Connor Bryce knew was a single child.

He doesn't meet this life's version of Vevila and is proud when it takes him only a moment to realize why. Vevila and Zoe were most likely tied together, Zoe had remembered and the two had jumped out of the cycle; Bryce was glad to have been the reason the two had gotten close in the first life, even if he had been doing something terrible at the time.

This time Bryce avoids conflict by addressing the problem before it blows on his face; sadly, there’s little time to enjoy it. At the very least, Bryce knows that he got to say what he needed to.

His sixth life ends predictably in a cloud of bullets, with voices screaming profanities louder than the gunshots; he’s too tired of the cycles to bother on the specifics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ceri: Possibly derived from Welsh caru meaning "to love". (It was cute, and I needed a Welsh name)  
> Bryce: Means swift in Celtic (Evan also means swift in Celtic :D!)  
> Admah: Means "Earth, red, bloody" in Hebrew  
> Vevila: Means Harmony in Irish


	5. At long last, impermanence!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And thus, we finish this.
> 
> Tfw your and your soulmate's godly moms used to inflict terror and war together.
> 
> So, I managed to nick the family computer and saw that I had this saved on FF; thus here we are.

His seventh life is someone else's dream, he's stuck in a universe that works by the rules of a book series he knew about back in his first life; he doesn't know how that happened, but it did. The world he's in works like this:

You know all the myths you may or may not study in school but that you definitely heard about at least once? Yeah, those are real, get the musical references out now, come on, I know you want to. So, since deities are a thing that exists, so are demigods.

Being a child of an overpowered immortal entity makes life sort of… dangerous, particularly when you not only throw monsters into the mix, but also make them invisible to the mortal eye. Therefore a camp was built, or two actually, one Roman and one Greek, where these kids could be safe from danger while they train to face danger, but danger with poetic promises of being a hero, that's called a quest.

Some campers want nothing more than to go on a quest, but Eugen would much rather stay safe and live to the end of summer; he gets enough monsters while in school.

In this life his best friend goes by Ari, and Eugen knows him from almost every other life he's lived, and knows they were 'family friends' in their first life; their relationship is a lot better in this one. Ari is dating Trevor, has been for almost three years now, and Eugen gets along with him plenty, so he notices when Trevor starts acting different, and knows what it means.

Eugen is still dealing with the fact that he won't have any other familiar faces than Connor in his next life, when the three of them are picked to lend a hand in the Greek camp. Eugen failed to see how chaos could be helpful in any way, but he wouldn't discuss with the praetor, the girl was terrifying.

Besides, Eugen had a feeling he would see Connor in Camp Half-Blood, or maybe in the way to it; so far he was hardly ever wrong when it came to his meetings with the other. So he geared up and followed Ari and Trevor out of Camp Jupiter.

 

He didn't meet Connor on the way to Camp Half-Blood, which was probably for the best, had he been a mortal then Eugen would've been lying and hiding from him. It would've been very similar to the first life, only now Connor would be alive to see how terrible Eugen really was.

They make it into camp in one piece, for the most part, or well… rather, none of them are missing limbs, or senses, or dying, which is better than usual; Eugen's chaos likes to spike up at all the worst times.

Chiron gives them a tour of the camp, and of course, that's when it happens.

Well, not exactly; the tour just happens to end in the arena, or what Eugen thinks is an arena, there's a group of demigods fighting with swords. Eugen sees Connor immediately, or maybe he's gotten so used to identifying him that it seems like it; whichever one doesn't matter, because never before had Connor looked back at him.

Eugen swallows loudly as he sees him say something to the group, drop his sword, and stride towards him frowning; Eugen doesn't make a habit of praying to Discordia, but he does now. It occurs to him that praying to the goddess of chaos and strife for a good outcome might not be the best idea.

Connor gets to their level and Eugen is frozen in place, petrified by a familiar sight turned odd by the addition of an orange shirt, his instincts do not activate, and he gets punched to the face.

Eugen staggers back but manages to keep his footing, Trevor and Ari both step up to give Connor a piece of their minds, but Eugen finally gets his voice back.

"I deserved that… gods that hurts"

Connor gets past the two now very confused demigods, and pulls Eugen into a hug; it takes him a few beats before he realizes that it's really happening and he makes himself hug the other back.

"You're the worst I hope you know"

"I'm sorry"

"Shut up"

 

They somehow manage to get away from everyone; to talk away from prying ears, mostly is Connor trying to make sense of the myriad of memories he has to deal with for the very first time, and Eugen trying to help.

"I watched you die a lot, like, I get that you were angry about the first life but-"

"I wasn't"

"What?"

"I, it wasn't like that, I wasn't angry, I just… I wanted to make it up to you, I guess"

"That doesn't make any sense Hansen"

"See I, I wanted to be there for you? I mean, because, well… you tried to approach me, and I kind of ruined it, so…"

Connor gives him a hard to describe look, it isn't bad per se, but it's not good either; Eugen doesn't know how to feel about it.

"Do you want this to stop? The cycle, I mean"

Eugen bites his lip and looks into the distance. His last life would've jumped at the opportunity, and Eugene is just as, if not more, tired of the loop; but now that the option is there… but he'd have to do it alone, find Connor and go through possibly another seven lives before the chance re-appears; there's really only one answer.

"Yeah… that's probably for the best"

"Ok"

There's a hand on his, Eugen whirls around to look at Connor, who intertwines them together; it feels important.

"Your name is Evan, Evan Hansen"

He feels himself tear up, unsure as to why exactly, Connor squeezes his hand; then tentatively wipes some of the tears off with a gentleness that's all too familiar from every life but the first, because Eugene, no Evan, simply couldn't let him go.

"I'm sorry, gods Connor, I'm so sorry"

Connor presses their foreheads together, a small smile on his lips.

"It's ok Evan, it's ok"

 

The next summer Connor's the one to visit a different camp, Evan finds himself guiding him through New Rome, talking about his life here; it's like he can't keep the words in, but Connor listens to him. The taller wears a pained look, kind off, the kind common to people mourning someone; he took Evan's hand early in the make-shift tour and had yet to let go.

They stop somewhere they can talk.

"Hey Ev, about the first life"

Evan swallows.

"Yeah?"

"The whole 'if I disappeared tomorrow', do you still think that?"

Evan thinks that there's more to the question than what's being asked, like Connor wants to make sure of something; he doesn't know what the other expects.

"Not in a long while, not really, I guess I just had other things in my head, most of the time at least"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's easy to make a suicide look like a sacrifice in the right setting"

Connor bit his lip, his eyes going dark for a moment, Evan moves so they're facing each other completely, and tentatively places a hand on Connor's cheek, relieved when the other makes no effort to remove it.

"Do you remember Noax?"

"Kind of, I remember your coronation"

Evan smiles and lets go of Connor, and pulls their joined hands into view.

"Want to dance?"

Connor looks at him for a moment before his face morphs into a familiar smile.

"Sure"

 

It's hard to tell how much of what he feels is a memory and how much of it is new, but this time Connor's right there with him to attempt at making sense of it. In the end they come to an agreement, to build up to it slowly, until the divide didn't cause them to stumble around each other anymore.

It's easy to fall back in love, like going back to something you learned long ago but had to abandon, and now that you're back you still remember how it works more or less. Connor is a lot more affectionate this time; eventually Evan finds comfort in it, grows used to it, and starts reciprocating tentatively; he's tentative about everything that has to do with Connor.

Connor and Evan seemed to have their pantheons switched, because while Evan was a son of Discordia, who was much better known for her Greek counterpart Eris, Connor was a son of Enyo, whose Roman counterpart was Bellona, and would've fit right in with Camp Jupiter. Surprisingly, Evan found himself oddly amused by this, it was very chaotic; but that could be said about Evan's entire existence, and maybe that's why the goddess was his mom in this particular timeline.

 

It happens during a particularly clear night, there's a celebration of some sort so they're allowed outside after dark; the two remain at a safe distance from everything, Trevor and Ari are probably enjoying themselves with the rest of camp. It happens under the star-lit sky, laying side by side, in companionable silence.

"Hey Ev"

Evan turns to him with his whole body, to find Connor mirroring his position, the taller lifts a hand to his cheek and closes the distance. For a moment Evan is frozen in place, and then he relaxes and kisses him back.

Connor pulls back with a small but pleased smile.

"Thank you"

Evan feels as though that's what really broke the curse, even when he knows it to be wrong; still, the idea is one he likes. He smiles at Connor softly and shakes his head no before placing a hand in Connor's chest, where his heart is.

"Thank you"

Connor pulls him into another kiss, this one is a lot happier, and a lot more covered in tears; Evan smiles as he kisses back softly. They are happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eugen: Means well born or noble in Greek (Evan means well born in Greek)
> 
> Ari: Means lion on Hebrew


End file.
